Forgotten Victims

Sept 12, 2002 started off like any other day. My morning routine included getting my 10 year old son David to school and then checking emails, voice messages and making business phone calls. As I did every Thursday, I left my home office around 10:30am to drive up to LA from San Diego for client meetings. I was about an hour early for my first meeting, so decided to exit the freeway, grab bottled water at a gas station minimart and make phone calls from my car. Little did I know that that decision would change my life forever. I turned on my blinker, looked over my shoulder and preceded into the next lane. In that instant, everything went into slow motion. The sound of metal crashing together and glass breaking was deafening. In an instant there was chaos. People running, yelling, sirens blaring and then a woman screaming loudly. Police cars, fire engines and ambulances were there in a matter of minutes. My car came to a dead stop on the curb; the truck that I collided with did not... His brakes locked and he proceeded to crash into a car that was parked at one of the gas pumps. A young woman had been pumping gas. A couple of her friends were sitting in the back seat. When they saw the white truck come towards them they jumped out of the car. The young woman did not have time to react. She was pinned between the gas pump and her car. I remember the paramedics wheeling her on a gurney into the ambulance. I remember the screaming. I'll never forget the screaming. They say that your body has a way of protecting you in catastrophic situations. My body wouldn't allow me to look at the woman on the gurney. I later came to realize that I had been in a state of severe shock.
The policemen started questioning those at the scene. They took me out of my car and put me into the police van. They called in a nurse to give me a blood test to see if I had any drugs or alcohol in my system. Of course, I did not. They called in a crisis counselor to sit with me as the lead police officer told me that the woman that I injured would probably loose both her legs. At that moment, I went into a deep, dark space and stayed there for almost a year.
Although I was fortunate to have a strong support system of family and friends, I had to fight hard to get through the emotional and legal devastation. I tried in vain to locate a support group or organization that consisted of people who had been the cause of a serious or deadly accident. I needed to know if and how they got through the overwhelming pain and guilt of injuring or killing someone. I needed to know if and how they learned to ever forgive themselves.
Prior to my accident, my life was all consuming with my career. I defined myself by how successful I was in my career, how far up the corporate ladder I climbed, and the size of my paycheck. I traveled often and spent numerous evenings long after my son and husband were asleep working at my computer to get up at 5:00am the next morning and do it all over again. Nine months after my accident, I was laid off from my company. I found myself with no job, still struggling and depressed from my accident and facing a lawsuit from the injuries the woman sustained. Although I had been raised a Catholic and even attended Catholic schools when I was younger, I never had a relationship with God. I said my prayers and occasionally went to church but never found it necessary to have God in my life. Oh sure, when things weren't going my way, I called on him for help, but otherwise, I was fine on my own. This accident changed all that. I found myself praying like I have never prayed before. My faith grew stronger than I could have ever imagined. Today, God is a huge part of my life.
Shortly after I was laid off, I started my own company, Conde Group, Inc. I have been blessed with amazing employees, wonderful clients and talented, professional consultants. Having my own company and dedicated employees has allowed me the flexibility and the ability to define who I am today; a wife, mother and the owner of a company. I no longer travel and spend quality time with my husband and son.
Forgotten Victims was incorporated in Sept 2003, exactly one year from the anniversary of my accident. I started Forgotten Victims for many reasons. Many people who have been the cause of catastrophic accidents have lost spouses, jobs, family and friends because they haven't been able to cope with the guilt and pain. Instead, they turn to drugs, alcohol and anything else that will numb their pain. Forgotten Victims is a nonprofit organization formed to help those who are involved in accidents in which they caused catastrophic injuries or death and the accident was not related to drugs, drinking, road rage, or racing. Forgotten Victims provides the support to those persons and their families to help them realize that they are not alone, that bad things happen to good people and that they will get through it.

Sincerely,
Karen Conde, Founder
Forgotten Victims